So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
