is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I would fuck him just for his dog
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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