how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as a side note pls kill me
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize