Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
