What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
