I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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