Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.