Texts From Last Night

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  (858): View more from California

  I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.

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  (858): I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell. http://tfl.nu/6q5z
  Replies (6) Good night (750) Bad night (2011)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.

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  (414): I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing. http://tfl.nu/kg0l
  Replies (15) Good night (3095) Bad night (1121)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.

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  (910): NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state. http://tfl.nu/dlad
  Replies (40) Good night (1186) Bad night (3548)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.

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  (801): my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god. http://tfl.nu/bqw0
  Replies (5) Good night (1030) Bad night (4076)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.

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  (443): we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it. http://tfl.nu/i4yi
  Replies (13) Good night (4140) Bad night (819)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here

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  (217): i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here http://tfl.nu/dmaq
  Replies (18) Good night (1774) Bad night (2543)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  So squirting runs in the family.

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  (603): So squirting runs in the family. http://tfl.nu/x29o
  Replies (16) Good night (4068) Bad night (1531)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.

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  (305): Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns. http://tfl.nu/2g8z
  Replies (4) Good night (1531) Bad night (761)
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  (707): View more from California

  I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs

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  (707): I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs http://tfl.nu/07a7
  Replies (5) Good night (679) Bad night (1328)
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  (310): View more from California

  i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20

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  (310): i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20 http://tfl.nu/ve2e
  Replies (4) Good night (950) Bad night (455)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"

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  (608): I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better" http://tfl.nu/176v
  Replies (10) Good night (1463) Bad night (525)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.

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  (920): Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders. http://tfl.nu/bd26
  Replies (3) Good night (353) Bad night (425)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!

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  (306): the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful! http://tfl.nu/h1ft
  Replies (0) Good night (598) Bad night (304)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.

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  (309): All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk. http://tfl.nu/b2p3
  Replies (2) Good night (643) Bad night (396)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself

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  (416): well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself http://tfl.nu/ylfg
  Replies (4) Good night (742) Bad night (363)

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