Texts From Last Night

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  (515): View more from Iowa

  After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding

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  (515): After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding http://tfl.nu/mxxu
  Replies (19) Good night (3218) Bad night (693)
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.

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  (928): She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon. http://tfl.nu/cf99
  Replies (31) Good night (8511) Bad night (2947)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat

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  (214): I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat http://tfl.nu/a753
  Replies (18) Good night (5365) Bad night (2759)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora

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  (860): She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora http://tfl.nu/wtuh
  Replies (19) Good night (4687) Bad night (1784)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.

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  (843): I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter. http://tfl.nu/3aqn
  Replies (6) Good night (2746) Bad night (884)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  You're barking up the wrong lesbian.

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  (715): You're barking up the wrong lesbian. http://tfl.nu/4ul9
  Replies (11) Good night (4328) Bad night (1132)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.

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  (651): Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me. http://tfl.nu/26ae
  Replies (7) Good night (3373) Bad night (922)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.

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  (914): They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk. http://tfl.nu/dygh
  Replies (2) Good night (2283) Bad night (652)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.

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  (317): HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING. http://tfl.nu/dtfs
  Replies (7) Good night (2012) Bad night (566)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?

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  (217): how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you? http://tfl.nu/250l
  Replies (1) Good night (523) Bad night (1387)
• Favorite

  (772): View more from Florida

  Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting

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  (772): Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting http://tfl.nu/dlj4
  Replies (2) Good night (971) Bad night (531)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS

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  (334): OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS http://tfl.nu/wcsc
  Replies (4) Good night (809) Bad night (254)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.

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  (248): Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible. http://tfl.nu/imqp
  Replies (3) Good night (887) Bad night (326)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  if not i want to bang those glasses off his face

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  (828): does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you? (828): if not i want to bang those glasses off his face http://tfl.nu/l0mr
  Replies (4) Good night (1377) Bad night (348)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency

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  (805): I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency http://tfl.nu/hlej
  Replies (5) Good night (433) Bad night (415)

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