I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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