You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
he fucked my hip out of place.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
