You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
someone threw a dead crab at me
i think my tv is drunk
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
