Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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