Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
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