meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
