Nicole vs. Life
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
