oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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