Pappa wants mamma naked
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Randomize
