do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
