How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
