I didn't shave. On purpose
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
