I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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