Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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