remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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