I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
