Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
