i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
