pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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