Sry I called you an 8
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Randomize
