On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
