shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
