thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
