so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
