When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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