then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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