i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Randomize
