so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.