He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.