I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
USA USA USA
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?