he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
