erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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