Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
