So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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