Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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