is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
