if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
