I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
