We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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