I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
