I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
