Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
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Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
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I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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