How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
