belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Randomize
