sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
