I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Randomize
