I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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