You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
