Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
