Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
