Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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