Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
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