conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
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