OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
