i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
