this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Randomize
