Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
