another moral hangover. fuck.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I didn't notice because vodka
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
