ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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