see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
i believe in u and ur pee
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
