you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
