just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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