All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
