I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
It's never too late to be topless.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
