all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
